“Estimated time of arrival: 1 hour and 15 minutes.” Outrageous commute times like these sometimes make me wonder why I don’t go to a more local Jewish High School. Contrary to popular belief, the valley is not filled with sheep and chickens, though Ms. Felcher’s horses live there. Then I remember a plethora of reasons that I chose YULA, but that still doesn’t solve my commute problem!

Sometimes I give up entirely on the drive back and just sleep at a friend’s house. But when that’s not an option, here’s what a day in the life of a Valley kid is like this:

5:30 a.m: Wake up (I don’t actually wake up then; I just keep snoozing my alarm because I can never wake up on the first alarm).

6:30 a.m: Wake up.

6:45 a.m: I’m out the door because I can’t be late for Halacha.

7:25 a.m: Stuck in heavy traffic on the 405.

7:26 a.m: “Hey, Siri, text Rabbi Sauer, I’m gonna be running a few minutes late to Halacha”

8:10 a.m: Tell my teacher about the daily car accident that extended my ETA by a couple of minutes.

8:11 a.m: Sign in with Mrs. Gorman, because my Halacha teacher doesn’t buy my excuse.

8:12 a.m: Get kicked out of the office for not wearing a mask.

8:13 a.m: Finally signed in after arguing with Mrs. Gorman for 15 minutes.

8:15 a.m: Make it in time for davening.

9:00 a.m: Grab two bowls of Cheerios because RSL says supply chain issues have held up the Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Fast forward to lunch: This freshman starts asking me if he can have a ride home. I tell him I don’t live in the Valley anymore.

Fast forward to Night Seder: I’m on my way home cause I gotta beat that freeway traffic, even though I’m gonna hear it from Rabbi Schreiber the next morning.

6:00 p.m: Just got home. I think I need a quick break from all that driving. 7:30 p.m: I hit that daily nap.

8:30 p.m: Start my homework…gotta finish soon, so I can go to sleep early to wake up for the morning drive.

11:30 p.m: Actually start my homework. 1:30 a.m: Finish homework!!!
1:31 a.m: zzzzz…..

5:30 a.m: Wake up to the first alarm somehow fully dressed for school…Let’s goooooooo.